I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
