So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
