he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
