We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
