Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want a musical about memes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
