the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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