I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
