I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
