You're so nebulous sometimes
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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