Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
