I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
