My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
