bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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