I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
