Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
