he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
