I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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