i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
