I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
