The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
