fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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