she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
