He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
