Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize