His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
