You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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