dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
