It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Green mimosas i think yes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
