oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
