loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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