I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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