We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
