i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
