you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
