We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize