if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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