Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
