fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
