I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
