I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
