I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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