Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My penis needs a shock collar
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
