Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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