Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
