I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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