Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
