Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
