I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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