I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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