Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
