sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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