i think my mom watched the whole time
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
