sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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