i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
