Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just pynch a tree in the face
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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