No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize