why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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