There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
