Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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