Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
