I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
