Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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