there was a trapeze. enough said
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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