a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
