Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
