I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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